Street Gig - Chuff Off And Get Some Manners
Cambridge, England

Big shouts to Essie, who wanders over to be the Olivia Newton John to my John Travolta, in a sweet but chaotic 'You're The One I Want' from Grease.

Then she does a fantastic Duffy's 'Mercy', with a soaring chorus. Some people just 'get' it, and join in the fun.

And big shouts to the internationals from Bremen, who video a couple of songs. Please, if you're reading this, send me the videos, I want them.

And big shouts to Bandy, who is always welcome on my patch. He asks for a Fox's Vanilla Cream, I tell him to take a couple for his dogs too.

And big shouts to all the ridiculously cute children, who fetch me donations from their parents. Bless. I always say a big thankyou to the kids. It's good to be polite.

But no shouts for that bloody south african woman. Look love, I'm fully aware what it says on the council website, but I've been playing this city for five years. You turned up a few weeks ago.

The rules in this city basically boil down to this:

1. Don't annoy people.
2. Don't hassle people for money.
3. Be entertaining.

You are a duet. That quiet bloke over there is the talented one. I know you play some drums, but your job is basically to have a pretty face.

So basically, yeah, whatever, come back in an hour if it turns you on. But I'm not time-sharing this pitch with you, your bloke, or anyone else. But especially not with you.

Now chuff off and get some manners.

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